Writing about a personal experience is a vulnerable task and is hard to do. And this piece, this piece is one of the hardest I have ever written. It’s raw, it’s the truth, and it’s my story that is happening right now. Children grow up and they eventually fly the coop – that is a fact of life but that doesn’t mean that it doesn’t pull at the heart strings.
Recently, I had my moment of heartbreak when my 16-year-old son left home. A mother’s love for her son is a special bond. I know that I’m not alone in this feeling, as Mia Freedman from Mamamia wrote about this being one of the toughest experiences in her life. (https://www.mamamia.com.au/mia-freedman-family/)
In just the blink of an eye, my son was all grown up. My little boy, who once loved heading down to Donut King for a thickshake, playing on the floor with his sister and joining the family on a trip to Longreach to visit his cousins, was fast becoming an adult.
His and my life were changing rapidly.
And while it feels sudden, it’s also really not that sudden at all.
The journey is not a smooth or easy one. There are the highest of highs and there are lows, so low that all you really want to do is wrap yourself in a white jacket and rock back and forth in the corner of a room and cry (ok that was perhaps a bit too dramatic but you get the gist).
The sweet and triumphant times of him ace’ing an exam were followed by chaotic and angry times. Times of yelling, moments of not knowing where he was, hours of not knowing if he’d be home for dinner. Times of pure angst.
For every moment I loved and hugged him, there was an equal and opposite moment where I was madder than I had ever been before. Such is a Mother’s love.
I know now that subconsciously I’ve been bracing for this for let’s say the past three years. I chose back then to work on “me” and looked towards let’s say non-conventional ways on ultimately, collectively, working on “us”. I did a lot of research before settling on the Thinking Into Results program. I researched because it took me time to wrap my head around how “coaching” could potentially assist in my mother / son relationship.
But, I was willing to try anything.
I spend my days helping others “pull the positives”, to see the brighter side of life and bam, all of a sudden I was faced with having to do it myself. While I’m a great at giving out advice, applying it to your own tough situation is admittedly far tougher.
Gratitude is a pillar of the Thinking Into Results program and without it I may not have made it through what was, at times, the most harrowing chapter of my life.
- The moment my son packed his bags and moved out of home – “I’m eternally grateful for the people who have taken him under their wing”.
- The moment he went to raise his hand at me – “I’m secretly grateful for “the look” that I could still exhibit, even under pressure, that made him rethink his actions”
- When the police arrived to say there had been an incident and needed me to come down to the station – “I’m grateful he’s still alive (are you freaking kidding me)”
- When he’s yelling down the phone saying I’m nice as pie one minute and crazy bat-shit the next – “I’m grateful he’s still talking to me”
- ……………..and the list goes on.
Another saviour for me from the Thinking Into Results program was the development in my relationship with my partner and my daughter. They saw my pain, it was raw, it was real, yet as I firmly said to them to “pull the positives” they’d dig deep to find at least one.
This, all of this, is my driving force to help others in similar situations. And why I chose to start my coaching business. Never in my wildest dreams did I think that engaging with a “coach” would assist me through depression, anxiety and in my son’s eyes – my crazy bat-shit moments. This program is built around positive thinking and is a program that is made for everyone. It’s a program for life and working through our toughest times in a positive fashion is vital for sustained happiness.
If any of this resonates with you then oh my lord, we really should chat cause this stuff, it work. Let’s do this. Click here to find out more.
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